Last week, I took the Amtrak back to the city from upstate and grabbed one of the last few seats on the aisle next to a white woman who politely ignored me. (This, of course, is the rule of engagement for commuter trains. Don't touch, don't talk.) Two asian men and an asian woman with several suit cases claimed the aisle seats ahead of me, but not directly bordering my seat.
(X's represent occupied seats, A's represent the three asians)
| x A | | A x |
| x A | | x x |
| x x | | me x |
Well-meaning conductor (scans Lydia's ticket): You know, there are more seats together in the next car.
Lydia: (blank stare, confused)
Well-meaning conductor: (gestures in front of him to the next train car) In the next car, you can all sit together. There's space.
Lydia: Oh! ... I don't know them.
Thursday, April 20, 2017
Tuesday, October 20, 2015
Smag Life Abroad
I've been called out for not posting for 2 years. Here are two smaggy conversations I had while abroad with my smag friend (nicknamed Kto) while in Seville and London, respectively.
Convo #1:
Random guy: Holaaaaa chinitas.
SmagLyd: (to SmagKto) Well, at least here in spain they hit on us in their native language. THAT'S refreshing.
[2 blocks later]
Random guy #2: Konichiwa!
SmagLyd: annnnnd there we go.
Note: I'd like to point out that there were 20 to 1 Koreans to any-other-asians while we were being tourists in Seville. You'd think they'd at least learn to say annyeonghaseyo.
Convo #2:
[at a long communal booth/table eating lunch with SmagKto. An asian woman appears and asks if she and her family (who are still ordering food) can sit there, so we move over a little. A Londoner (I'm guessing he's half black) and his two adorable daughters appear and ask us to move over.]
Asian Woman: Uhm, I have 5 people.
Londoner: (looks at us all) Yeah, this table can fit like 20 people if you move over.
[SmagLyd awkwardly looks around... then slides over a little bit. SmagKto does the same across the table. Asian woman moves in about 6 inches. Londoner slides into booth and is now sitting across from Asian woman. Everyone looks a little confused.]
SmagLyd: (pauses and then blurts out) Uhh... we don't know them! (gesturing at other asians)
Londoner: Oh! I'm so sorry... I thought you were part of the same family!
Convo #2, part 2:
[Londoner has been chatting with us about living in New York and London]
SmagLyd: (thinks to herself) Oh, this is so nice, he hasn't really been weird about asians and american things, like people sometimes are... it's probably because we have normal American accents and SmagKto lives here in London (mentally pats self on back)
Londoner: ...so.... Do you like kungfu movies?
SmagLyd: (revokes pat on back and raises voice to a high-pitched level that happens when being disingenuous) Oh! yeahyeahsure, I like... (pause) No... I don't know why I said that. That's a lie. I don't particularly like kungfu movies.
Londoner: (is shocked) What? ... but how old are you?
SmagLyd: 31.
Londoner: (pauses) .... but you SHOULD like kungfu movies.
Thanks for letting me know what I should like, dude. Hahah. Weirdos.
Thursday, December 19, 2013
And we're back! .... Mistaken smagdenity
Yeah... so, we smags kind of forgot about this blog... oops. ~ Smag-Lyd
Many changes since we last posted (a bajillion years ago). Smag-Joyce ran a marathon, Smag-Lyd got a new job within the same company, Smag-Alex found a nice boy and is now reppin' BK. Our smag-den has also grown to include Smag-Van! It's important to acknowledge her since she's part of the inspiration for this post.
Yesterday, Smag-Van and I went to a cheap sushi place in Astoria near our apt. When Smag-Van came back from the bathroom, she was trying really hard not to bust out laughing. "I think that guy over there thought that I work here..." A random white guy intercepted her on the way to our table and started to ask her a question. Oh the woes of being a smag, dressed in black, eating at an asian restaurant. Non-smags don't know what to do.
At least Smag-Van was confused for a waitress at a decent restaurant. My best case of mistaken smagdenity happened upstate (yeah, so it's not the city but whatever) at a crappo chinese buffet in Ulster County (pretty g...). I was walking back to my family's table with a plate full of crappy chinese food and probably a random dollop of mashed potatoes, when a middle-aged white guy stops me and asks me "Excuse me, ma'am, can I get a fork?"
I was so flustered because I didn't get that he thought I worked there for a solid 10 seconds of awkward dead time. I mean, I was holding a plate of food and probably picking at it, and wearing jeans and some slobby t-shirt (probably) - not the fugly vests over short sleeve button-downs... But I finally replied, "ohhh, I don't work here. But, like, there's a whole bin of them right over there." We were at a buffet. They're over there by the plates, old man.
I wonder if those people ever feel embarrassed. Smags-out.
Many changes since we last posted (a bajillion years ago). Smag-Joyce ran a marathon, Smag-Lyd got a new job within the same company, Smag-Alex found a nice boy and is now reppin' BK. Our smag-den has also grown to include Smag-Van! It's important to acknowledge her since she's part of the inspiration for this post.
Yesterday, Smag-Van and I went to a cheap sushi place in Astoria near our apt. When Smag-Van came back from the bathroom, she was trying really hard not to bust out laughing. "I think that guy over there thought that I work here..." A random white guy intercepted her on the way to our table and started to ask her a question. Oh the woes of being a smag, dressed in black, eating at an asian restaurant. Non-smags don't know what to do.
At least Smag-Van was confused for a waitress at a decent restaurant. My best case of mistaken smagdenity happened upstate (yeah, so it's not the city but whatever) at a crappo chinese buffet in Ulster County (pretty g...). I was walking back to my family's table with a plate full of crappy chinese food and probably a random dollop of mashed potatoes, when a middle-aged white guy stops me and asks me "Excuse me, ma'am, can I get a fork?"
I was so flustered because I didn't get that he thought I worked there for a solid 10 seconds of awkward dead time. I mean, I was holding a plate of food and probably picking at it, and wearing jeans and some slobby t-shirt (probably) - not the fugly vests over short sleeve button-downs... But I finally replied, "ohhh, I don't work here. But, like, there's a whole bin of them right over there." We were at a buffet. They're over there by the plates, old man.
I wonder if those people ever feel embarrassed. Smags-out.
Wednesday, January 30, 2013
Chinese takeout
This pretty much blew my mind. Just like the expandable ketchup cups.
Of course, if you can't eat 2 pounds of roast pork lo mein, you might want to save that carton. Smag out.
Of course, if you can't eat 2 pounds of roast pork lo mein, you might want to save that carton. Smag out.
Thursday, January 17, 2013
Things Smags+ Hate...
because I'm pretty sure I've heard every single one of these questions/comments. I think this video is entitled "PLEASE SAYING THIS STUFF TO ASIANS!"
I have a pretty big chip on my shoulder about getting the question "Do you speak English?" and I've often wondered why. Perhaps it's because I can't really speak Chinese that well, and if I didn't speak English as well as I do, WHAT WOULD I HAVE? I'd like to think people can see the neon signs above my head that scream "well-educated!" "perfect english" "Doesn't need a greencard!" but alas, this is not my reality.
At some point, the number of generations that asian-american families have been in America will be large enough that the clueless subset of Americans will change their expectations. But I'm sure there will always be the creepo's that ask if we need greencards, while standing outside an unmarked van - waiting to whisk us away into the sex slave industry. (for story, see earlier post)
At some point, the number of generations that asian-american families have been in America will be large enough that the clueless subset of Americans will change their expectations. But I'm sure there will always be the creepo's that ask if we need greencards, while standing outside an unmarked van - waiting to whisk us away into the sex slave industry. (for story, see earlier post)
Wednesday, October 17, 2012
It's been a long time...
...shouldn't have left you...
So I realize we've gone almost 6 months without a smag post. And nothing short of a brilliant Halloween costume idea could bring us out of pseudo-retirement.
I'd love to do a group-smag costume dealio for this Halloween. I generally hate Halloween and costumes, but if it was a group thing, I could overlook said hatred. My idea in the middle of August was to do a Carmen Sandiego themed group costume. Smag-Alex could be Carmen (because she can pull off a trench coat), Smag-Joyce could be a gumshoe (because she is our forensics guru in the apt), and I could be a V.I.L.E. henchmen (because I'm good at making awkward pointy-elbowed creepy arm movements). I would have happily worn green pants and eyeblack and made my own "dossier" for our gumshoe. But alas - this was too much work to even think about realistically.
Enter unintentionally-sometimes-smag-dating friend of ours.
"I think you should do a group costume. 'binder full of smags' "
Two points to anyone who can come up with a hypothetical way to pull off this genius and appropriately timed costume. (and no we are not actually going to do this. but I'm very interested in knowing how it could be done.) Two points to anyone who thought this post was going to be about Aaliyah.
So I realize we've gone almost 6 months without a smag post. And nothing short of a brilliant Halloween costume idea could bring us out of pseudo-retirement.
I'd love to do a group-smag costume dealio for this Halloween. I generally hate Halloween and costumes, but if it was a group thing, I could overlook said hatred. My idea in the middle of August was to do a Carmen Sandiego themed group costume. Smag-Alex could be Carmen (because she can pull off a trench coat), Smag-Joyce could be a gumshoe (because she is our forensics guru in the apt), and I could be a V.I.L.E. henchmen (because I'm good at making awkward pointy-elbowed creepy arm movements). I would have happily worn green pants and eyeblack and made my own "dossier" for our gumshoe. But alas - this was too much work to even think about realistically.
Enter unintentionally-sometimes-smag-dating friend of ours.
"I think you should do a group costume. 'binder full of smags' "
Two points to anyone who can come up with a hypothetical way to pull off this genius and appropriately timed costume. (and no we are not actually going to do this. but I'm very interested in knowing how it could be done.) Two points to anyone who thought this post was going to be about Aaliyah.
Wednesday, April 25, 2012
Getting hit on before 9am... in Chinese...
A little while ago, I had the privilege of joining some friends for a fancy-ish dinner at the NoMad hotel. For this occasion, I thought it necessary to wear something reasonably nice. Since the dinner was immediately after work, I went to work in a business-casual work dress and wedge heels. I often wear a dress to work, but pair it with sensible flats or sneakers for the commute. What smag doesn't have at least 6 pairs of nice work shoes under her desk?
The addition of these heels, however, (despite them being pretty casual) opened up a different commute experience. I was hit on 3 times before I got to work. And not in a specific-to-me kind of way. Any substitute smag would have gotten the exact same comments. But each time confused me more and more.
The first guy was one of the construction guys working on the building next to ours. Our basement apt opens up into a courtyard and we have to go up some stairs to get back out of our building. So cliched, right? A construction worker.
The second one happened just before I got to the train station. A guy walking toward me stepped laterally to get in my way and murmur something in my face. It was general and bizarre but non-threatening.
The last, however, really stuck out to me. I was coming out of the train by the Flatiron building in a steady stream of people trying to get to work. There's a guy of non-asian ethnicity handing out Metro newspapers. He's saying general pleasantries to everyone, but makes a significant point to single me out. So he stopped, looked me up and down and said, "Hey. Ni haooooo...." (which means, "Hey. How are you?" or, with the proper inflection "How YOU doin'....?") It was so quick, like an immediate reaction on his part. 'Yes... this is how I talk to asian girls... all of them.' It wasn't threatening of a comment either, but part of me wanted to turn around and hurl, "I'm KOREAN!!!" (which is not true, but COULD be true!) But alas, I was still not yet fully awake and couldn't care enough at 9 in the morning.
It did have me thinking for the rest of the day. Is this flattering or endearing when non-asian guys try to learn some chinese to pick up [hopefully] chinese girls? Or is it just odd and maybe a little offensive? There's nothing that pisses me off more than people assuming I don't speak English perfectly. Do they just find it to be an easy conversation starter? Is this something that can be changed, if all smags decided to ignore such advances? Is this even something smags everywhere would want?
Food for smag-thought.
The addition of these heels, however, (despite them being pretty casual) opened up a different commute experience. I was hit on 3 times before I got to work. And not in a specific-to-me kind of way. Any substitute smag would have gotten the exact same comments. But each time confused me more and more.
The first guy was one of the construction guys working on the building next to ours. Our basement apt opens up into a courtyard and we have to go up some stairs to get back out of our building. So cliched, right? A construction worker.
The second one happened just before I got to the train station. A guy walking toward me stepped laterally to get in my way and murmur something in my face. It was general and bizarre but non-threatening.
The last, however, really stuck out to me. I was coming out of the train by the Flatiron building in a steady stream of people trying to get to work. There's a guy of non-asian ethnicity handing out Metro newspapers. He's saying general pleasantries to everyone, but makes a significant point to single me out. So he stopped, looked me up and down and said, "Hey. Ni haooooo...." (which means, "Hey. How are you?" or, with the proper inflection "How YOU doin'....?") It was so quick, like an immediate reaction on his part. 'Yes... this is how I talk to asian girls... all of them.' It wasn't threatening of a comment either, but part of me wanted to turn around and hurl, "I'm KOREAN!!!" (which is not true, but COULD be true!) But alas, I was still not yet fully awake and couldn't care enough at 9 in the morning.
It did have me thinking for the rest of the day. Is this flattering or endearing when non-asian guys try to learn some chinese to pick up [hopefully] chinese girls? Or is it just odd and maybe a little offensive? There's nothing that pisses me off more than people assuming I don't speak English perfectly. Do they just find it to be an easy conversation starter? Is this something that can be changed, if all smags decided to ignore such advances? Is this even something smags everywhere would want?
Food for smag-thought.
Friday, March 30, 2012
Diversity and Disney princesses...
Warning: this post has no real hypothesis or thread of reasoning. It's just the musings of a confused smag...
This past week I (Smag-Lydia) got to spend some time with my second-cousins. (I'm actually not sure what they are, but I'm going to call them second cousins. They're my mom's cousins' kids - so if you know, please tell me.) These six kids are all adorable and range from 3-14 years old.
We ended up playing a Jeopardy-style game with the buzz-in system "Eggspert", which was surprisingly fun. To level the playing field for the range of kids present, I asked questions such as "What is 1 + 1?" and "What color is Tyler's shirt?" Naturally, my hosting duties were quickly usurped by a hilariously self-centered 12-yr old cousin. After posing questions like, "What outfit do I look best in? This is multiple choice: (a) a panda suit (b) a crocodile suit (c) a gorilla suit, or (d) a fedora and sunglasses?" it quickly morphed into a full blown Disney princess quiz show. Here are my thoughts on the questions asked, and the answers given. These below are all apparently true and objectively undeniable facts, or so I was told.
1. "Who was the best Disney Princess?" - correct answer: Mulan.
My thoughts - Nevermind that she's not technically even one of the Disney princesses... Was she the "best" because all of the cousins present were at least half-chinese? What makes a princess better than the others? What are qualities a princess should have? Are sword play and archery are included? Must you have an awesome sidekick? I would love to poll other kids and figure out the statistics there. I bet Disney Inc. already has this information.
2. "Who was my favorite Disney Princess?" - correct answer: Rapunzel (from Tangled)
This doesn't surprise me much. Tangled was the most recent movie, so they probably feel a sort of ownership over this film as I did with The Lion King or Beauty and the Beast. But man, it doesn't take much to win the heart of a 6 year old, or a 5 year old... or a 12 year old. I will add that these girls gave a surprising set of answers to this question in the end. It was agreed that the favorite princesses went in this order: (1) Rapunzel (2) Mulan and (3) Tiana (from Princess and the frog). Diverse, right?
3. "What was the best movie, ever?" - correct answer: Tangled
Hey, I guessed "The Shawshank Redemption" but that answer was met with a bunch of blank stares. Except my brother who thought it was mildly funny. I just really wanted to beat everyone to their buzzers and answer first. I guess I should have guessed better, given question #2. More importantly, all the other little cousins got this right - as if it was the most obvious truism in the world. This didn't have to be limited to Classic Disney animated films. How were they all on the same page? Freaky. Maybe if I proposed Justin Bieber's concert movie, I could have changed some minds.
4."Which Disney princess is the ugliest?" - correct answer: Cinderella
Again, I buzzed in first and guessed Snow White, on the basis that the animation is really old, and her face looks kind of funny to me (mostly because of the dated animation style). Also, I figured her "princess dress" was the least attractive of them all. I was, however, brutally rebuffed. The word Cinderella was met with a chorus of "yuck!" and "you're right!" - much to the confusion of the older cousins. Hadn't Cinderella been kind of the benchmark for all other Disney Princesses for us? "But Cinderella was really nice, and hardworking...!" I proffered. Right... because that's DEFINITELY what it takes to be the least ugly princess.
I'm still not sure how to feel after that game. On one hand, I was proud of those girls for having a list of best/favorite princesses that included some with spunk and/or some sort of true goal in life. It also included an impressively diverse set of ladies. But there weren't any good reasons for why they liked each princess. I know I shouldn't expect, "I like Tiana, because she knows that hard work is a much better path than wishing on a star [like that idiot Jiminy Cricket tells us to]." But even a simple "I like Mulan because she's brave" would have been nice. I still think they might just think they were prettiest. (Also, why is Cinderella the ugliest? I'm still trying to figure out their reasoning for that one)
But perhaps kids only really love what's newest and most relevant to them. In that case, it really is Disney's burden to provide empowering Disney princesses, provide good role-models. But most likely, I'm over-thinking this. Are there truly any good ways to teach young girls that life's not just about being pretty and becoming a trophy wife?
This past week I (Smag-Lydia) got to spend some time with my second-cousins. (I'm actually not sure what they are, but I'm going to call them second cousins. They're my mom's cousins' kids - so if you know, please tell me.) These six kids are all adorable and range from 3-14 years old.
We ended up playing a Jeopardy-style game with the buzz-in system "Eggspert", which was surprisingly fun. To level the playing field for the range of kids present, I asked questions such as "What is 1 + 1?" and "What color is Tyler's shirt?" Naturally, my hosting duties were quickly usurped by a hilariously self-centered 12-yr old cousin. After posing questions like, "What outfit do I look best in? This is multiple choice: (a) a panda suit (b) a crocodile suit (c) a gorilla suit, or (d) a fedora and sunglasses?" it quickly morphed into a full blown Disney princess quiz show. Here are my thoughts on the questions asked, and the answers given. These below are all apparently true and objectively undeniable facts, or so I was told.
1. "Who was the best Disney Princess?" - correct answer: Mulan.
My thoughts - Nevermind that she's not technically even one of the Disney princesses... Was she the "best" because all of the cousins present were at least half-chinese? What makes a princess better than the others? What are qualities a princess should have? Are sword play and archery are included? Must you have an awesome sidekick? I would love to poll other kids and figure out the statistics there. I bet Disney Inc. already has this information.
2. "Who was my favorite Disney Princess?" - correct answer: Rapunzel (from Tangled)
This doesn't surprise me much. Tangled was the most recent movie, so they probably feel a sort of ownership over this film as I did with The Lion King or Beauty and the Beast. But man, it doesn't take much to win the heart of a 6 year old, or a 5 year old... or a 12 year old. I will add that these girls gave a surprising set of answers to this question in the end. It was agreed that the favorite princesses went in this order: (1) Rapunzel (2) Mulan and (3) Tiana (from Princess and the frog). Diverse, right?
3. "What was the best movie, ever?" - correct answer: Tangled
Hey, I guessed "The Shawshank Redemption" but that answer was met with a bunch of blank stares. Except my brother who thought it was mildly funny. I just really wanted to beat everyone to their buzzers and answer first. I guess I should have guessed better, given question #2. More importantly, all the other little cousins got this right - as if it was the most obvious truism in the world. This didn't have to be limited to Classic Disney animated films. How were they all on the same page? Freaky. Maybe if I proposed Justin Bieber's concert movie, I could have changed some minds.
4."Which Disney princess is the ugliest?" - correct answer: Cinderella
Again, I buzzed in first and guessed Snow White, on the basis that the animation is really old, and her face looks kind of funny to me (mostly because of the dated animation style). Also, I figured her "princess dress" was the least attractive of them all. I was, however, brutally rebuffed. The word Cinderella was met with a chorus of "yuck!" and "you're right!" - much to the confusion of the older cousins. Hadn't Cinderella been kind of the benchmark for all other Disney Princesses for us? "But Cinderella was really nice, and hardworking...!" I proffered. Right... because that's DEFINITELY what it takes to be the least ugly princess.
I'm still not sure how to feel after that game. On one hand, I was proud of those girls for having a list of best/favorite princesses that included some with spunk and/or some sort of true goal in life. It also included an impressively diverse set of ladies. But there weren't any good reasons for why they liked each princess. I know I shouldn't expect, "I like Tiana, because she knows that hard work is a much better path than wishing on a star [like that idiot Jiminy Cricket tells us to]." But even a simple "I like Mulan because she's brave" would have been nice. I still think they might just think they were prettiest. (Also, why is Cinderella the ugliest? I'm still trying to figure out their reasoning for that one)
But perhaps kids only really love what's newest and most relevant to them. In that case, it really is Disney's burden to provide empowering Disney princesses, provide good role-models. But most likely, I'm over-thinking this. Are there truly any good ways to teach young girls that life's not just about being pretty and becoming a trophy wife?
Thursday, February 23, 2012
Smags in Yankee Stadium!
Yes, Spring Training is upon us... and perhaps the Yankees will distract NYers from all this Linsanity (How come we haven't had a Jeremy Lin post yet? Don't worry, it'll happen eventually). I can not wait for the 2012 season to start.
I'm glad my "sports t-shirt curse" has not yet spread to my remaining Yankees... But more importantly, I recently bought Smag-Alex a cute little 9-pack of Yankee tickets for her birthday to match mine. So finally, after many years of inaction, we are finally "Season Ticket Holders" (technically)!!! Will April 19 get here already? (That's our first game, vs. a hopefully healthy Joe Mauer and the Twins)
But what we really need to know is, with A.J. gone, who's going to be in charge of pies?!?
I'm glad my "sports t-shirt curse" has not yet spread to my remaining Yankees... But more importantly, I recently bought Smag-Alex a cute little 9-pack of Yankee tickets for her birthday to match mine. So finally, after many years of inaction, we are finally "Season Ticket Holders" (technically)!!! Will April 19 get here already? (That's our first game, vs. a hopefully healthy Joe Mauer and the Twins)
But what we really need to know is, with A.J. gone, who's going to be in charge of pies?!?
Thursday, February 2, 2012
SMAGs have cool friends.
Here is a rule that I think is for NYC folk, but can be applied to all city smags as well:
You are an official smag when you're friends with a musician that resides in Brooklyn. Now, for Smag-Alex, who met MGMT a few years back at a birthday party; and for Smag-Joyce, who works in the music industry... this is easier. But that I'm friends with a super-cool, talented musician named Aaron Alexis... it's awesome and totally SMAGgy and twinkie-ish. I'm a legit city-smag now. Check him out here.
In classic NYC style, he has an equally wonderful day-job and was around to help me figure out how the heck to post this (after begging his modest self, of course).
You are an official smag when you're friends with a musician that resides in Brooklyn. Now, for Smag-Alex, who met MGMT a few years back at a birthday party; and for Smag-Joyce, who works in the music industry... this is easier. But that I'm friends with a super-cool, talented musician named Aaron Alexis... it's awesome and totally SMAGgy and twinkie-ish. I'm a legit city-smag now. Check him out here.
In classic NYC style, he has an equally wonderful day-job and was around to help me figure out how the heck to post this (after begging his modest self, of course).
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
We smags are EVERYWHERE... watch yo'self.
Ok. Smag-Lyd here. So we've sucked about posting frequently. But recently I overheard snippets of a conversation on the street that Smag-Alex REQUIRED that I post here. It's truly indicative of the types of random stuff a smag will come across on a given day in NYC.
Last night, another smag and I were leaving the 24 Hour Fitness gym near Madison Square Park and were waiting to cross the street behind three young men who were very much NYC born-and-raised. (You can just tell by the voice and swagger.) They were tall, well-intentioned, nice young men with a preppy, hip-hop fashion sense. I'll leave ethnicity out of this, so you can assume what you'd like. This is the conversation, about a girl one of them hooked up with the previous weekend, as I heard it:
Last night, another smag and I were leaving the 24 Hour Fitness gym near Madison Square Park and were waiting to cross the street behind three young men who were very much NYC born-and-raised. (You can just tell by the voice and swagger.) They were tall, well-intentioned, nice young men with a preppy, hip-hop fashion sense. I'll leave ethnicity out of this, so you can assume what you'd like. This is the conversation, about a girl one of them hooked up with the previous weekend, as I heard it:
Middle Boy: "... and then she went all ninja on me..." (makes ninja swiping movements with arms)
Right boy: hahahhahah
:: insert random talk I couldn't quite hear::
Right Boy: (walking slowly) ::other unintelligble question::
(smags decide to pass them on the far right)
Middle Boy: (answering question) I don't know... I'd never f*cked an asian girl before...
Left Boy: (mumbles something)
Middle Boy: Oh man... I didn't even see them til you said anything!
(at this point, we smags are fully past them, walking in front and I'm trying not to openly crack up)
Middle Boy: Now they're going to think I have Yellow Fever or some shit like that!
Please realize, that all of us (besides my smag friend who was zoned out looking at bus schedules) were completely aware that the other party found this whole exchange extremely hilarious. I know that they could see me shaking my head and cracking up. I could hear them all laughing in an embarassed way. I can only imagine what Left Boy said to inform the others of our presence, and even more so, the question Right Boy asked Middle Boy to prompt that answer.
Most of all, I really wanted to turn around and say, "Boys... you should go forth through life assuming that there are smags EVERYWHERE. We will always overhear those inappropriate comments. There are too many of us. You can not get away from us, unless you're maybe in a remote place in Montana. Maybe." Also, I wished I'd asked what it means to "go all ninja" on someone. Or maybe I'm glad I didn't.
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Fan letter nostalgia
[Smag-Al]
Several months ago, I wrote a fan letter to my then-favorite band, Japandroids. This was the first fan letter I'd ever written and actually sent, and I'll admit that I agonized over it as if it had been my MFA thesis. The point of a fan letter is simple, but since this was my first, I wanted it to be a good one. Re-reading this now, it appears to me the same way all my past writing does--juvenile, poorly structured, verbose and overwritten. But looking past all that, I have to smile. The sentiment that's expressed here is innocent and earnest. This is just a girl who was trying to find the right way to tell a band, 'hey, I like you.' It makes me want to reach back to my past self, the self who wrote this thinking, now here's a band that I could listen to forever, whose music, for whatever reason, really resonates with me in this particular moment in time. Even then, I knew that it was a temporal, fleeting interest. It doesn't matter that a month afterwards I'd invariably get sick of their album and have to take a hiatus from it, or that my perception of their music and the band itself has changed in the intervening months.
Going to see Japandroids at Mercury Lounge last night, almost one year later, the feeling I got was more nostalgia than giddy, adrenaline-fueled anticipation. But that doesn't negate or invalidate what past-me once felt about seeing this band. I'm not embarrassed to re-read this and think of the girl that listened to Post-Nothing on repeat for hours on end, the girl that felt compelled to write her very first fan letter and send it off into the ether. Despite her flawed writing and slightly neurotic, misguided admiration, I am glad she did.
+++++++++
This is just an old-fashioned fan letter...
As I went to see Mission of Burma at Maxwell's in New Jersey a few weeks ago, I was reminded of another great band I saw there not too long ago-- Japandroids. I happened to catch the last show of your tour a few months back, and was blown away by your performance, raw energy and musicianship. I go to a lot of shows, but yours is one that will stick with me, and I feel lucky for the opportunity to experience something like that. After the show, an almost certainly non-sober David rushed by heading to the bar and did a sort of double-take—maybe he was a little surprised that a small Asian girl like myself, in office attire and looking pretty out of place, would come out for a show like that. The fact is, though, I love your music. Although that night I had grumbled about trekking over to New Jersey from the city and I wandered in as a casual fan, I left there with my ears ringing and head buzzing from the intensity, truly astounded.
Sometimes I think it's better not to deconstruct the rationale behind why certain music is appealing. In this case, though, I can't resist. Your music hits upon so many themes that are universal and also happen to be particularly relevant to over-educated, urban-dwelling twenty-somethings like me--the tension between grasping for the future and yearning for the past, between fleeing responsibility and wanting to grow up, simultaneously loving and hating where you're from, the feeling of advancing through the progressive stages of life without having quite landed yet, and the restlessness that causes someone to constantly want to press reset, whether in terms of a job, relationship or locale.
But what I appreciate most about your music is that it's unpretentious, witty yet unironic, and hard-hitting, relentless fun. I'll always be willing to pay good money to see two guys up on stage who look like they're having the time of their life making as much noise as is humanly possible. Because at the end of the day, past all the angst and over-analyzing, it's like, fuck it. Seemingly poor decisions can lead to the best; breaking with convention and discarding the safety net even when there's a good chance that it will all get shot to hell is sometimes the only genuine option and the truest predictor of success. Through it all, though, good times with friends can be the ultimate redemption and help get someone past just about anything, and to me, that's what you're proving with every new release, and every time you take the stage. So, thank you for taking a chance with your music.
I can especially appreciate the aim of your singles series—I grew up in an isolated, semi-rural town and wasn't even aware that that sort of music existed until I got to college, and I feel like I've been playing catch up ever since. Looking forward to your upcoming singles and your next album, whatever direction it may take. And of course, can't wait to see you on tour again the next time you pass through New York.
Several months ago, I wrote a fan letter to my then-favorite band, Japandroids. This was the first fan letter I'd ever written and actually sent, and I'll admit that I agonized over it as if it had been my MFA thesis. The point of a fan letter is simple, but since this was my first, I wanted it to be a good one. Re-reading this now, it appears to me the same way all my past writing does--juvenile, poorly structured, verbose and overwritten. But looking past all that, I have to smile. The sentiment that's expressed here is innocent and earnest. This is just a girl who was trying to find the right way to tell a band, 'hey, I like you.' It makes me want to reach back to my past self, the self who wrote this thinking, now here's a band that I could listen to forever, whose music, for whatever reason, really resonates with me in this particular moment in time. Even then, I knew that it was a temporal, fleeting interest. It doesn't matter that a month afterwards I'd invariably get sick of their album and have to take a hiatus from it, or that my perception of their music and the band itself has changed in the intervening months.
Going to see Japandroids at Mercury Lounge last night, almost one year later, the feeling I got was more nostalgia than giddy, adrenaline-fueled anticipation. But that doesn't negate or invalidate what past-me once felt about seeing this band. I'm not embarrassed to re-read this and think of the girl that listened to Post-Nothing on repeat for hours on end, the girl that felt compelled to write her very first fan letter and send it off into the ether. Despite her flawed writing and slightly neurotic, misguided admiration, I am glad she did.
+++++++++
This is just an old-fashioned fan letter...
As I went to see Mission of Burma at Maxwell's in New Jersey a few weeks ago, I was reminded of another great band I saw there not too long ago-- Japandroids. I happened to catch the last show of your tour a few months back, and was blown away by your performance, raw energy and musicianship. I go to a lot of shows, but yours is one that will stick with me, and I feel lucky for the opportunity to experience something like that. After the show, an almost certainly non-sober David rushed by heading to the bar and did a sort of double-take—maybe he was a little surprised that a small Asian girl like myself, in office attire and looking pretty out of place, would come out for a show like that. The fact is, though, I love your music. Although that night I had grumbled about trekking over to New Jersey from the city and I wandered in as a casual fan, I left there with my ears ringing and head buzzing from the intensity, truly astounded.
Sometimes I think it's better not to deconstruct the rationale behind why certain music is appealing. In this case, though, I can't resist. Your music hits upon so many themes that are universal and also happen to be particularly relevant to over-educated, urban-dwelling twenty-somethings like me--the tension between grasping for the future and yearning for the past, between fleeing responsibility and wanting to grow up, simultaneously loving and hating where you're from, the feeling of advancing through the progressive stages of life without having quite landed yet, and the restlessness that causes someone to constantly want to press reset, whether in terms of a job, relationship or locale.
But what I appreciate most about your music is that it's unpretentious, witty yet unironic, and hard-hitting, relentless fun. I'll always be willing to pay good money to see two guys up on stage who look like they're having the time of their life making as much noise as is humanly possible. Because at the end of the day, past all the angst and over-analyzing, it's like, fuck it. Seemingly poor decisions can lead to the best; breaking with convention and discarding the safety net even when there's a good chance that it will all get shot to hell is sometimes the only genuine option and the truest predictor of success. Through it all, though, good times with friends can be the ultimate redemption and help get someone past just about anything, and to me, that's what you're proving with every new release, and every time you take the stage. So, thank you for taking a chance with your music.
I can especially appreciate the aim of your singles series—I grew up in an isolated, semi-rural town and wasn't even aware that that sort of music existed until I got to college, and I feel like I've been playing catch up ever since. Looking forward to your upcoming singles and your next album, whatever direction it may take. And of course, can't wait to see you on tour again the next time you pass through New York.
Friday, July 29, 2011
Smags love boy bands...
(SmagLy)
Yes, it's true... The smags are headed to the NKOTBSB concert this weekend. Smag-Jen and I bought these tickets last fall. I'm soooo super stoked. (sidenote: to those of you that saw this show at Fenway where Marky Mark introduced NKOTB, I'm still jealous) As an old-school BSB fan, it will be 1999 again for a few hours - and it will be awesome. When even your mom knows the words to "I Want It That Way," then you KNOW that a boy band has truly made it. (This may not be the best measure of credibility though, to this day, the only pop song my mom truly remembers is "My Humps" - but that's a whole 'nother story.)
I was going to post the video for "I Want It That Way" to pump everyone else up - or just make them jealous - but then I found this video from back in the day. And it was too good not to pass on, like when it made the rounds in college. This pretty much sums up what goes on in my head when I hear this song anyways.
Yes, it's true... The smags are headed to the NKOTBSB concert this weekend. Smag-Jen and I bought these tickets last fall. I'm soooo super stoked. (sidenote: to those of you that saw this show at Fenway where Marky Mark introduced NKOTB, I'm still jealous) As an old-school BSB fan, it will be 1999 again for a few hours - and it will be awesome. When even your mom knows the words to "I Want It That Way," then you KNOW that a boy band has truly made it. (This may not be the best measure of credibility though, to this day, the only pop song my mom truly remembers is "My Humps" - but that's a whole 'nother story.)
I was going to post the video for "I Want It That Way" to pump everyone else up - or just make them jealous - but then I found this video from back in the day. And it was too good not to pass on, like when it made the rounds in college. This pretty much sums up what goes on in my head when I hear this song anyways.
Friday, July 22, 2011
Black and yellow, black and yellow ....
(SmagLyd posting)
So the first time I heard that Wiz Khalifa song I thought, "oh, interesting... is this a song about black and asian people?" Actually, I said that out loud. And was made fun of for doing so after we found out it was about the Pittsburgh Steelers. I maintain that if they were talking specifically about Hines Ward, I'd also be correct, but that's not the point.
Today Alex sent me a link to this Funny or Die parody of that song, which is "at least more in line with what we thought this song was about" originally. It's called: "Black and Jewish"
So the first time I heard that Wiz Khalifa song I thought, "oh, interesting... is this a song about black and asian people?" Actually, I said that out loud. And was made fun of for doing so after we found out it was about the Pittsburgh Steelers. I maintain that if they were talking specifically about Hines Ward, I'd also be correct, but that's not the point.
Today Alex sent me a link to this Funny or Die parody of that song, which is "at least more in line with what we thought this song was about" originally. It's called: "Black and Jewish"
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
The problem with going to concerts with 'young people'...
The problem with going to concerts that a lot of teenagers will be going to (for example, Matt & Kim at Terminal 5, which is where Alex and I are right now), is tri-fold.
1) We have problems using our legitmate IDs to get wristbands. The girls at the front door stared at, bended, compared Alex and my IDs for a solid 3 minutes. Then the girl announced to Alex, "This says that you're 27 years old..." To which of course, we just stared in confusion. "Uhhh, but I am 27..." And then I have to say, "Hey they took that picture when I was 16, give me a break." That's what I said to my girl, anyways. Seriously, I'm flattered, but we're old - just give us the wristbands and shut up.
2) We don't just look young, but we also feel old. More than once during the pre-concert DJ set did I yell down to all the kids on the mainfloor - "You were, like, 5 YEARS OLD when this came out!" Also, nothing weirder or funnier than 400 teenagers screaming "ohhh skeet skeet motherf*cker!" to a song that came out when they were 8 years old. Inappropriate and yet so hilarious.
3) The realization that this nerdy asian boy up here in the VIP section could use some serious fistpumping lessons from the Jersey Shore crew. He keeps punching straight out just slightly above his own eye-level in sharp jerky movements. Its probably the best part of the night. Matt & Kim haven't even come out yet, but I'ma call this one early. Poor funny uncoordinated asians. C'mon! We have better rhythm than that!
More later, gonna actually pay attention now.
1) We have problems using our legitmate IDs to get wristbands. The girls at the front door stared at, bended, compared Alex and my IDs for a solid 3 minutes. Then the girl announced to Alex, "This says that you're 27 years old..." To which of course, we just stared in confusion. "Uhhh, but I am 27..." And then I have to say, "Hey they took that picture when I was 16, give me a break." That's what I said to my girl, anyways. Seriously, I'm flattered, but we're old - just give us the wristbands and shut up.
2) We don't just look young, but we also feel old. More than once during the pre-concert DJ set did I yell down to all the kids on the mainfloor - "You were, like, 5 YEARS OLD when this came out!" Also, nothing weirder or funnier than 400 teenagers screaming "ohhh skeet skeet motherf*cker!" to a song that came out when they were 8 years old. Inappropriate and yet so hilarious.
3) The realization that this nerdy asian boy up here in the VIP section could use some serious fistpumping lessons from the Jersey Shore crew. He keeps punching straight out just slightly above his own eye-level in sharp jerky movements. Its probably the best part of the night. Matt & Kim haven't even come out yet, but I'ma call this one early. Poor funny uncoordinated asians. C'mon! We have better rhythm than that!
More later, gonna actually pay attention now.
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Overheard in New York, Nerd Edition
(posted by Smag-Al)
It's that time of year… RFA time, when the foundation's scientific advisory board, comprised of a select bunch of highly respected scientists, convenes for a two-day meeting to review all the applications for this year's round of grants. It's quite the dazzling, nerdtastic 'melding of the minds'; there's so much brain power in this building right now, the air is almost palpable.
As with other scientific meetings, a spirit of gleeful one-upmanship accompanies this event, as the nerds are let out of their cages (read: universities/labs) and encouraged to intermingle and exchange ideas, but mostly just attempt to prove to each other that whatever obscure research project they've been slaving away on over the past several years has had (or will soon have) some sort of measurable effect on the scientific community at large. Case in point, this discussion I overheard in the elevator this morning, on the likely contenders for this year's Nobel Prize:
Nerd 1: "So, do you think John* will get it this year? That stuff he's been doing with enzyme X is amazing."
Nerd 2: "What about Ben*? I'd say he's definitely in the running."
Nerd 3: "Nah, I mean, Ben does everything, but to win you really need to focus on just one thing… and 'help humanity.'"
[nerdy chuckles.]
Nerd 2: "Ben sure isn't gonna cure cancer anytime soon."
[more nerdy chuckles all around.]
Nerd 1: "John will definitely get it sometime in the next 5 years, but I don't think this is his year."
Nerd 3: "But have you HEARD what his lab's been doing lately?"
And so on and so forth.
As Lydia said when I gave her the recap, it's crazy to think that we're 2 degrees separated from a future Nobel Prize winner.
* Names have been changed; nerds deserve their privacy, too.
It's that time of year… RFA time, when the foundation's scientific advisory board, comprised of a select bunch of highly respected scientists, convenes for a two-day meeting to review all the applications for this year's round of grants. It's quite the dazzling, nerdtastic 'melding of the minds'; there's so much brain power in this building right now, the air is almost palpable.
As with other scientific meetings, a spirit of gleeful one-upmanship accompanies this event, as the nerds are let out of their cages (read: universities/labs) and encouraged to intermingle and exchange ideas, but mostly just attempt to prove to each other that whatever obscure research project they've been slaving away on over the past several years has had (or will soon have) some sort of measurable effect on the scientific community at large. Case in point, this discussion I overheard in the elevator this morning, on the likely contenders for this year's Nobel Prize:
Nerd 1: "So, do you think John* will get it this year? That stuff he's been doing with enzyme X is amazing."
Nerd 2: "What about Ben*? I'd say he's definitely in the running."
Nerd 3: "Nah, I mean, Ben does everything, but to win you really need to focus on just one thing… and 'help humanity.'"
[nerdy chuckles.]
Nerd 2: "Ben sure isn't gonna cure cancer anytime soon."
[more nerdy chuckles all around.]
Nerd 1: "John will definitely get it sometime in the next 5 years, but I don't think this is his year."
Nerd 3: "But have you HEARD what his lab's been doing lately?"
And so on and so forth.
As Lydia said when I gave her the recap, it's crazy to think that we're 2 degrees separated from a future Nobel Prize winner.
* Names have been changed; nerds deserve their privacy, too.
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Smags in Atlantic City... worst idea ever...
(by Smag-Lydia)
Nothing on the East Coast is more ghetto than Atlantic City. "What?!" you ask, "How about all those inner city parts in all major metro areas?" And I would respond, "yes, but an unfortunate and fortunate attribute to those inner city parts is that you can avoid those areas if you don't want to be harassed. In Atlantic City, they're mixed in with the crowd. You can't avoid them if you TRIED."
Here's a small sampling of comments the SmagTwins Al & Al got when they went down to AC on Tuesday afternoon. (note: this is in DAYLIGHT)
[excerpt from an email from Smag-Alex]
As we're walking down the boardwalk this afternoon: "hey do you want a happy ending?" His friend standing nearby is just saying "f*******ck, f*******ck" the entire time we're passing by.
Two men pass by in one of those carts pushed by some poor dude: "squishy squishy squishy squishy squishy"
I have no idea what that second one meant, but it was definitely said in a really lewd way. Why do gross men feel they're entitled to shout obscenities at small Asian girls?
[end email from Alex]
Why DO people feel entitled to do that? I've discussed this with Alex before, and we're confused why people who are in cities/places where there is a constant flow of Asians (many of whom who speak perfect English) feel compelled to yell weird things like this. We don't understand the choice of words either. Squishy, squishy? Al and Al are tiny girls with a really low body-fat ratio, so it can't be a physical attribute comment... Also, if you've read our blog from the beginning, you'll remember that a fellow smag and I were harassed with a shout of "CHICKEN CHOW MEIN!" in Times Square late at night. I don't run by Polish people and yell "PIEROGIES!"or the like. How does a leering gentleman choose what to say to someone? What are they trying to accomplish, and has it ever worked for them?
Of course, Atlantic City is different place when you have more than 2 smags in your travel group, and also different when you have some jasians with you. (Jasians = jacked asians)
Nothing on the East Coast is more ghetto than Atlantic City. "What?!" you ask, "How about all those inner city parts in all major metro areas?" And I would respond, "yes, but an unfortunate and fortunate attribute to those inner city parts is that you can avoid those areas if you don't want to be harassed. In Atlantic City, they're mixed in with the crowd. You can't avoid them if you TRIED."
Here's a small sampling of comments the SmagTwins Al & Al got when they went down to AC on Tuesday afternoon. (note: this is in DAYLIGHT)
[excerpt from an email from Smag-Alex]
As we're walking down the boardwalk this afternoon: "hey do you want a happy ending?" His friend standing nearby is just saying "f*******ck, f*******ck" the entire time we're passing by.
Two men pass by in one of those carts pushed by some poor dude: "squishy squishy squishy squishy squishy"
I have no idea what that second one meant, but it was definitely said in a really lewd way. Why do gross men feel they're entitled to shout obscenities at small Asian girls?
[end email from Alex]
Why DO people feel entitled to do that? I've discussed this with Alex before, and we're confused why people who are in cities/places where there is a constant flow of Asians (many of whom who speak perfect English) feel compelled to yell weird things like this. We don't understand the choice of words either. Squishy, squishy? Al and Al are tiny girls with a really low body-fat ratio, so it can't be a physical attribute comment... Also, if you've read our blog from the beginning, you'll remember that a fellow smag and I were harassed with a shout of "CHICKEN CHOW MEIN!" in Times Square late at night. I don't run by Polish people and yell "PIEROGIES!"or the like. How does a leering gentleman choose what to say to someone? What are they trying to accomplish, and has it ever worked for them?
Of course, Atlantic City is different place when you have more than 2 smags in your travel group, and also different when you have some jasians with you. (Jasians = jacked asians)
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Happy Smagmin day! (that's Admin Day to you non-smags...)
Yes, we two smags are currently admins at a foundation that spoils the crap out of us. Not only are all the ladies at the foundation attending a posh luncheon at the Pierre tomorrow, but since we're out for most of the day -- they delivered gorgeous flower arrangements to all the admins today in honor of Admin Day (tomorrow). Each admin got a different arrangement! Here's mine:
I know we're totally spoiled here. I'd completely forgotten how awesome it is to be delivered a gorgeous set of flowers. (also, we both know we're terrible at regular blogging, but we'll work on that.)
I know we're totally spoiled here. I'd completely forgotten how awesome it is to be delivered a gorgeous set of flowers. (also, we both know we're terrible at regular blogging, but we'll work on that.)
Friday, April 1, 2011
Happy Opening Day!
What better way to brighten up a gross rainy cold day than with an Opening Day Yankee win?!?
This is the exact time of year that I get inklings of resentment towards "The Other Smag" for not letting us get cable at home (read: access to all baseball games) - even though she's absolutely correct predicting we would just plop ourselves down in front of our tv and never leave. (Heck, I already sometimes do that with just network tv. Do you know what's ON network tv? Nothing!) Does this give me just cause for spending money on MLB.tv this year then? I spent all yesterday afternoon listening to the CBS radio coverage of the game while doing work.
This is the exact time of year that I get inklings of resentment towards "The Other Smag" for not letting us get cable at home (read: access to all baseball games) - even though she's absolutely correct predicting we would just plop ourselves down in front of our tv and never leave. (Heck, I already sometimes do that with just network tv. Do you know what's ON network tv? Nothing!) Does this give me just cause for spending money on MLB.tv this year then? I spent all yesterday afternoon listening to the CBS radio coverage of the game while doing work.
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
THE SMAGS TAKE SAN DIEGO!!!
Yes, we two smags are gonna be in San Diego the second week of May 'on business!' And we will take that Gaslamp District by STORM. Please send me some food recommendations so I can fully plan all my meals for that trip. Yay also for flying business class. It will be my first time flying anything but coach! holla back, youngin'!
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