We smags are EVERYWHERE... watch yo'self.

Ok. Smag-Lyd here. So we've sucked about posting frequently.  But recently I overheard snippets of a conversation on the street that Smag-Alex REQUIRED that I post here.  It's truly indicative of the types of random stuff a smag will come across on a given day in NYC.

Last night, another smag and I were leaving the 24 Hour Fitness gym near Madison Square Park and were waiting to cross the street behind three young men who were very much NYC born-and-raised.  (You can just tell by the voice and swagger.)  They were tall, well-intentioned, nice young men with a preppy, hip-hop fashion sense.  I'll leave ethnicity out of this, so you can assume what you'd like.  This is the conversation, about a girl one of them hooked up with the previous weekend, as I heard it:

Middle Boy: "... and then she went all ninja on me..."  (makes ninja swiping movements with arms)

Right boy: hahahhahah

:: insert random talk I couldn't quite hear::

Right Boy: (walking slowly) ::other unintelligble question::

(smags decide to pass them on the far right)

Middle Boy: (answering question) I don't know... I'd never f*cked an asian girl before...

Left Boy: (mumbles something)

Middle Boy: Oh man... I didn't even see them til you said anything!

(at this point, we smags are fully past them, walking in front and I'm trying not to openly crack up)

Middle Boy: Now they're going to think I have Yellow Fever or some shit like that!

Please realize, that all of us (besides my smag friend who was zoned out looking at bus schedules) were completely aware that the other party found this whole exchange extremely hilarious. I know that they could see me shaking my head and cracking up. I could hear them all laughing in an embarassed way.  I can only imagine what Left Boy said to inform the others of our presence, and even more so, the question Right Boy asked Middle Boy to prompt that answer.  

Most of all, I really wanted to turn around and say, "Boys... you should go forth through life assuming that there are smags EVERYWHERE.  We will always overhear those inappropriate comments.  There are too many of us.  You can not get away from us, unless you're maybe in a remote place in Montana.  Maybe."  Also, I wished I'd asked what it means to "go all ninja" on someone.  Or maybe I'm glad I didn't.

Fan letter nostalgia

[Smag-Al]

Several months ago, I wrote a fan letter to my then-favorite band, Japandroids. This was the first fan letter I'd ever written and actually sent, and I'll admit that I agonized over it as if it had been my MFA thesis. The point of a fan letter is simple, but since this was my first, I wanted it to be a good one. Re-reading this now, it appears to me the same way all my past writing does--juvenile, poorly structured, verbose and overwritten. But looking past all that, I have to smile. The sentiment that's expressed here is innocent and earnest. This is just a girl who was trying to find the right way to tell a band, 'hey, I like you.' It makes me want to reach back to my past self, the self who wrote this thinking, now here's a band that I could listen to forever, whose music, for whatever reason, really resonates with me in this particular moment in time. Even then, I knew that it was a temporal, fleeting interest. It doesn't matter that a month afterwards I'd invariably get sick of their album and have to take a hiatus from it, or that my perception of their music and the band itself has changed in the intervening months.

Going to see Japandroids at Mercury Lounge last night, almost one year later, the feeling I got was more nostalgia than giddy, adrenaline-fueled anticipation. But that doesn't negate or invalidate what past-me once felt about seeing this band. I'm not embarrassed to re-read this and think of the girl that listened to Post-Nothing on repeat for hours on end, the girl that felt compelled to write her very first fan letter and send it off into the ether. Despite her flawed writing and slightly neurotic, misguided admiration, I am glad she did.

+++++++++

This is just an old-fashioned fan letter...

As I went to see Mission of Burma at Maxwell's in New Jersey a few weeks ago, I was reminded of another great band I saw there not too long ago-- Japandroids. I happened to catch the last show of your tour a few months back, and was blown away by your performance, raw energy and musicianship. I go to a lot of shows, but yours is one that will stick with me, and I feel lucky for the opportunity to experience something like that. After the show, an almost certainly non-sober David rushed by heading to the bar and did a sort of double-take—maybe he was a little surprised that a small Asian girl like myself, in office attire and looking pretty out of place, would come out for a show like that. The fact is, though, I love your music. Although that night I had grumbled about trekking over to New Jersey from the city and I wandered in as a casual fan, I left there with my ears ringing and head buzzing from the intensity, truly astounded.

Sometimes I think it's better not to deconstruct the rationale behind why certain music is appealing. In this case, though, I can't resist. Your music hits upon so many themes that are universal and also happen to be particularly relevant to over-educated, urban-dwelling twenty-somethings like me--the tension between grasping for the future and yearning for the past, between fleeing responsibility and wanting to grow up, simultaneously loving and hating where you're from, the feeling of advancing through the progressive stages of life without having quite landed yet, and the restlessness that causes someone to constantly want to press reset, whether in terms of a job, relationship or locale.

But what I appreciate most about your music is that it's unpretentious, witty yet unironic, and hard-hitting, relentless fun. I'll always be willing to pay good money to see two guys up on stage who look like they're having the time of their life making as much noise as is humanly possible. Because at the end of the day, past all the angst and over-analyzing, it's like, fuck it. Seemingly poor decisions can lead to the best; breaking with convention and discarding the safety net even when there's a good chance that it will all get shot to hell is sometimes the only genuine option and the truest predictor of success. Through it all, though, good times with friends can be the ultimate redemption and help get someone past just about anything, and to me, that's what you're proving with every new release, and every time you take the stage. So, thank you for taking a chance with your music.

I can especially appreciate the aim of your singles series—I grew up in an isolated, semi-rural town and wasn't even aware that that sort of music existed until I got to college, and I feel like I've been playing catch up ever since. Looking forward to your upcoming singles and your next album, whatever direction it may take. And of course, can't wait to see you on tour again the next time you pass through New York.

Smags love boy bands...

(SmagLy)

Yes, it's true... The smags are headed to the NKOTBSB concert this weekend.  Smag-Jen and I bought these tickets last fall.  I'm soooo super stoked. (sidenote: to those of you that saw this show at Fenway where Marky Mark introduced NKOTB, I'm still jealous)  As an old-school BSB fan, it will be 1999 again for a few hours - and it will be awesome.  When even your mom knows the words to "I Want It That Way," then you KNOW that a boy band has truly made it.  (This may not be the best measure of credibility though, to this day, the only pop song my mom truly remembers is "My Humps" - but that's a whole 'nother story.) 

I was going to post the video for "I Want It That Way" to pump everyone else up - or just make them jealous - but then I found this video from back in the day.  And it was too good not to pass on, like when it made the rounds in college.  This pretty much sums up what goes on in my head when I hear this song anyways.

Black and yellow, black and yellow ....

(SmagLyd posting)
So the first time I heard that Wiz Khalifa song I thought, "oh, interesting... is this a song about black and asian people?" Actually, I said that out loud.  And was made fun of for doing so after we found out it was about the Pittsburgh Steelers.  I maintain that if they were talking specifically about Hines Ward, I'd also be correct, but that's not the point.

Today Alex sent me a link to this Funny or Die parody of that song, which is "at least more in line with what we thought this song was about" originally.  It's called: "Black and Jewish"

The problem with going to concerts with 'young people'...

The problem with going to concerts that a lot of teenagers will be going to (for example, Matt & Kim at Terminal 5, which is where Alex and I are right now), is tri-fold.

1) We have problems using our legitmate IDs to get wristbands. The girls at the front door stared at, bended, compared Alex and my IDs for a solid 3 minutes. Then the girl announced to Alex, "This says that you're 27 years old..." To which of course, we just stared in confusion. "Uhhh, but I am 27..." And then I have to say, "Hey they took that picture when I was 16, give me a break." That's what I said to my girl, anyways. Seriously, I'm flattered, but we're old - just give us the wristbands and shut up.

2) We don't just look young, but we also feel old. More than once during the pre-concert DJ set did I yell down to all the kids on the mainfloor - "You were, like, 5 YEARS OLD when this came out!" Also, nothing weirder or funnier than 400 teenagers screaming "ohhh skeet skeet motherf*cker!" to a song that came out when they were 8 years old. Inappropriate and yet so hilarious.

3) The realization that this nerdy asian boy up here in the VIP section could use some serious fistpumping lessons from the Jersey Shore crew. He keeps punching straight out just slightly above his own eye-level in sharp jerky movements. Its probably the best part of the night. Matt & Kim haven't even come out yet, but I'ma call this one early. Poor funny uncoordinated asians. C'mon! We have better rhythm than that!

More later, gonna actually pay attention now.

Overheard in New York, Nerd Edition

(posted by Smag-Al)

It's that time of year… RFA time, when the foundation's scientific advisory board, comprised of a select bunch of highly respected scientists, convenes for a two-day meeting to review all the applications for this year's round of grants. It's quite the dazzling, nerdtastic 'melding of the minds'; there's so much brain power in this building right now, the air is almost palpable.

As with other scientific meetings, a spirit of gleeful one-upmanship accompanies this event, as the nerds are let out of their cages (read: universities/labs) and encouraged to intermingle and exchange ideas, but mostly just attempt to prove to each other that whatever obscure research project they've been slaving away on over the past several years has had (or will soon have) some sort of measurable effect on the scientific community at large. Case in point, this discussion I overheard in the elevator this morning, on the likely contenders for this year's Nobel Prize:

Nerd 1: "So, do you think John* will get it this year? That stuff he's been doing with enzyme X is amazing."

Nerd 2: "What about Ben*? I'd say he's definitely in the running."

Nerd 3: "Nah, I mean, Ben does everything, but to win you really need to focus on just one thing… and 'help humanity.'"

[nerdy chuckles.]

Nerd 2: "Ben sure isn't gonna cure cancer anytime soon."

[more nerdy chuckles all around.]

Nerd 1: "John will definitely get it sometime in the next 5 years, but I don't think this is his year."

Nerd 3: "But have you HEARD what his lab's been doing lately?"

And so on and so forth.

As Lydia said when I gave her the recap, it's crazy to think that we're 2 degrees separated from a future Nobel Prize winner.


* Names have been changed; nerds deserve their privacy, too.

Smags in Atlantic City... worst idea ever...

(by Smag-Lydia)
Nothing on the East Coast is more ghetto than Atlantic City.  "What?!" you ask, "How about all those inner city parts in all major metro areas?"  And I would respond, "yes, but an unfortunate and fortunate attribute to those inner city parts is that you can avoid those areas if you don't want to be harassed.  In Atlantic City, they're mixed in with the crowd.  You can't avoid them if you TRIED."  

Here's a small sampling of comments the SmagTwins Al & Al got when they went down to AC on Tuesday afternoon.  (note: this is in DAYLIGHT)

[excerpt from an email from Smag-Alex]
As we're walking down the boardwalk this afternoon: "hey do you want a happy ending?" His friend standing nearby is just saying "f*******ck, f*******ck" the entire time we're passing by.

Two men pass by in one of those carts pushed by some poor dude: "squishy squishy squishy squishy squishy"

I have no idea what that second one meant, but it was definitely said in a really lewd way. Why do gross men feel they're entitled to shout obscenities at small Asian girls?
[end email from Alex]

Why DO people feel entitled to do that?  I've discussed this with Alex before, and we're confused why people who are in cities/places where there is a constant flow of Asians (many of whom who speak perfect English) feel compelled to yell weird things like this.  We don't understand the choice of words either.  Squishy, squishy?  Al and Al are tiny girls with a really low body-fat ratio, so it can't be a physical attribute comment... Also, if you've read our blog from the beginning, you'll remember that a fellow smag and I were harassed with a shout of "CHICKEN CHOW MEIN!" in Times Square late at night.  I don't run by Polish people and yell "PIEROGIES!"or the like.  How does a leering gentleman choose what to say to someone?  What are they trying to accomplish, and has it ever worked for them? 

Of course, Atlantic City is different place when you have more than 2 smags in your travel group, and also different when you have some jasians with you.  (Jasians = jacked asians)