Priceless workplace moments

It should be noted that save for one white male coworker, I am the only non-black employee out of the 14 in our program.

Psychiatrist's interview with a client:
Doc: "How old are you, Mr. X?"
Client: [thinks long and hard...pregnant pause] "I'm in my fifties..."
Doc: "Okaaay...Well then, can you tell me what's today's date?"
Client: "Nah, man. I don't keep up with that sh*t."

Male coworker: "Do you like African food?"
Female coworker: "Nah, I don't even like African men."

Female coworker discussing her racial preferences for dating: "Girl, right now I'm not feelin' those light-skinned guys. 'Tis the season to be findin' me a dark chocolate brotha."

One female coworker to another, trying to entice a client to come into the office for a mandatory face-to-face meeting: "You tell that n**** that I'm wearin' jean cut-off shorts and a tight t-shirt and a push-up bra."

Female coworker #1: "You like your steak medium-rare?"
Female coworker #2: "Nah, I don't like that sh*t vampire style."
Male coworker: "I like mine medium-rare."
Female coworker #1: "Well, that be the savage in you, with the blood all drippin' out and sh*t...Besides, the Old Testament say we shouldn't be eatin' the flesh of animals."
Male coworker: "I like my steak and that's my testament, and it may just be a motherf*cking revelation."

One of my female coworkers was singing terribly, more like warbling, and another woman says, "Ooh girl, you'd better not be singin' like that. Right now I'd be pullin' out my hair if it wasn't sewn into my head."

Discussion between my boss and a case worker, regarding a client:
Boss: "Do you think that he and that chick had a sexual relationship?"
Coworker: "Hell yeah, he's way too attached to her to NOT be hittin' that."
Boss: "Isn't she gay, though?"
Coworker: "Bi, apparently."
Boss: "And didn't she rob him of like $275.00?"
Coworker: "Well, you know...every relationship has its ups and downs."

Coworker: "I done locked myself out of the office when I came into work this Saturday. I left my damn keys right on my desk, and no one around to help me get back in."
Boss: "Dang. Wait, so how did you get back in?"
Coworker: "I done picked the lock."
Boss: "I guess our clients taught you well."