Yeah... so, we smags kind of forgot about this blog... oops. ~ Smag-Lyd
Many changes since we last posted (a bajillion years ago). Smag-Joyce ran a marathon, Smag-Lyd got a new job within the same company, Smag-Alex found a nice boy and is now reppin' BK. Our smag-den has also grown to include Smag-Van! It's important to acknowledge her since she's part of the inspiration for this post.
Yesterday, Smag-Van and I went to a cheap sushi place in Astoria near our apt. When Smag-Van came back from the bathroom, she was trying really hard not to bust out laughing. "I think that guy over there thought that I work here..." A random white guy intercepted her on the way to our table and started to ask her a question. Oh the woes of being a smag, dressed in black, eating at an asian restaurant. Non-smags don't know what to do.
At least Smag-Van was confused for a waitress at a decent restaurant. My best case of mistaken smagdenity happened upstate (yeah, so it's not the city but whatever) at a crappo chinese buffet in Ulster County (pretty g...). I was walking back to my family's table with a plate full of crappy chinese food and probably a random dollop of mashed potatoes, when a middle-aged white guy stops me and asks me "Excuse me, ma'am, can I get a fork?"
I was so flustered because I didn't get that he thought I worked there for a solid 10 seconds of awkward dead time. I mean, I was holding a plate of food and probably picking at it, and wearing jeans and some slobby t-shirt (probably) - not the fugly vests over short sleeve button-downs... But I finally replied, "ohhh, I don't work here. But, like, there's a whole bin of them right over there." We were at a buffet. They're over there by the plates, old man.
I wonder if those people ever feel embarrassed. Smags-out.
Thursday, December 19, 2013
Wednesday, January 30, 2013
Chinese takeout
This pretty much blew my mind. Just like the expandable ketchup cups.
Of course, if you can't eat 2 pounds of roast pork lo mein, you might want to save that carton. Smag out.
Of course, if you can't eat 2 pounds of roast pork lo mein, you might want to save that carton. Smag out.
Thursday, January 17, 2013
Things Smags+ Hate...
because I'm pretty sure I've heard every single one of these questions/comments. I think this video is entitled "PLEASE SAYING THIS STUFF TO ASIANS!"
I have a pretty big chip on my shoulder about getting the question "Do you speak English?" and I've often wondered why. Perhaps it's because I can't really speak Chinese that well, and if I didn't speak English as well as I do, WHAT WOULD I HAVE? I'd like to think people can see the neon signs above my head that scream "well-educated!" "perfect english" "Doesn't need a greencard!" but alas, this is not my reality.
At some point, the number of generations that asian-american families have been in America will be large enough that the clueless subset of Americans will change their expectations. But I'm sure there will always be the creepo's that ask if we need greencards, while standing outside an unmarked van - waiting to whisk us away into the sex slave industry. (for story, see earlier post)
At some point, the number of generations that asian-american families have been in America will be large enough that the clueless subset of Americans will change their expectations. But I'm sure there will always be the creepo's that ask if we need greencards, while standing outside an unmarked van - waiting to whisk us away into the sex slave industry. (for story, see earlier post)
Wednesday, October 17, 2012
It's been a long time...
...shouldn't have left you...
So I realize we've gone almost 6 months without a smag post. And nothing short of a brilliant Halloween costume idea could bring us out of pseudo-retirement.
I'd love to do a group-smag costume dealio for this Halloween. I generally hate Halloween and costumes, but if it was a group thing, I could overlook said hatred. My idea in the middle of August was to do a Carmen Sandiego themed group costume. Smag-Alex could be Carmen (because she can pull off a trench coat), Smag-Joyce could be a gumshoe (because she is our forensics guru in the apt), and I could be a V.I.L.E. henchmen (because I'm good at making awkward pointy-elbowed creepy arm movements). I would have happily worn green pants and eyeblack and made my own "dossier" for our gumshoe. But alas - this was too much work to even think about realistically.
Enter unintentionally-sometimes-smag-dating friend of ours.
"I think you should do a group costume. 'binder full of smags' "
Two points to anyone who can come up with a hypothetical way to pull off this genius and appropriately timed costume. (and no we are not actually going to do this. but I'm very interested in knowing how it could be done.) Two points to anyone who thought this post was going to be about Aaliyah.
So I realize we've gone almost 6 months without a smag post. And nothing short of a brilliant Halloween costume idea could bring us out of pseudo-retirement.
I'd love to do a group-smag costume dealio for this Halloween. I generally hate Halloween and costumes, but if it was a group thing, I could overlook said hatred. My idea in the middle of August was to do a Carmen Sandiego themed group costume. Smag-Alex could be Carmen (because she can pull off a trench coat), Smag-Joyce could be a gumshoe (because she is our forensics guru in the apt), and I could be a V.I.L.E. henchmen (because I'm good at making awkward pointy-elbowed creepy arm movements). I would have happily worn green pants and eyeblack and made my own "dossier" for our gumshoe. But alas - this was too much work to even think about realistically.
Enter unintentionally-sometimes-smag-dating friend of ours.
"I think you should do a group costume. 'binder full of smags' "
Two points to anyone who can come up with a hypothetical way to pull off this genius and appropriately timed costume. (and no we are not actually going to do this. but I'm very interested in knowing how it could be done.) Two points to anyone who thought this post was going to be about Aaliyah.
Wednesday, April 25, 2012
Getting hit on before 9am... in Chinese...
A little while ago, I had the privilege of joining some friends for a fancy-ish dinner at the NoMad hotel. For this occasion, I thought it necessary to wear something reasonably nice. Since the dinner was immediately after work, I went to work in a business-casual work dress and wedge heels. I often wear a dress to work, but pair it with sensible flats or sneakers for the commute. What smag doesn't have at least 6 pairs of nice work shoes under her desk?
The addition of these heels, however, (despite them being pretty casual) opened up a different commute experience. I was hit on 3 times before I got to work. And not in a specific-to-me kind of way. Any substitute smag would have gotten the exact same comments. But each time confused me more and more.
The first guy was one of the construction guys working on the building next to ours. Our basement apt opens up into a courtyard and we have to go up some stairs to get back out of our building. So cliched, right? A construction worker.
The second one happened just before I got to the train station. A guy walking toward me stepped laterally to get in my way and murmur something in my face. It was general and bizarre but non-threatening.
The last, however, really stuck out to me. I was coming out of the train by the Flatiron building in a steady stream of people trying to get to work. There's a guy of non-asian ethnicity handing out Metro newspapers. He's saying general pleasantries to everyone, but makes a significant point to single me out. So he stopped, looked me up and down and said, "Hey. Ni haooooo...." (which means, "Hey. How are you?" or, with the proper inflection "How YOU doin'....?") It was so quick, like an immediate reaction on his part. 'Yes... this is how I talk to asian girls... all of them.' It wasn't threatening of a comment either, but part of me wanted to turn around and hurl, "I'm KOREAN!!!" (which is not true, but COULD be true!) But alas, I was still not yet fully awake and couldn't care enough at 9 in the morning.
It did have me thinking for the rest of the day. Is this flattering or endearing when non-asian guys try to learn some chinese to pick up [hopefully] chinese girls? Or is it just odd and maybe a little offensive? There's nothing that pisses me off more than people assuming I don't speak English perfectly. Do they just find it to be an easy conversation starter? Is this something that can be changed, if all smags decided to ignore such advances? Is this even something smags everywhere would want?
Food for smag-thought.
The addition of these heels, however, (despite them being pretty casual) opened up a different commute experience. I was hit on 3 times before I got to work. And not in a specific-to-me kind of way. Any substitute smag would have gotten the exact same comments. But each time confused me more and more.
The first guy was one of the construction guys working on the building next to ours. Our basement apt opens up into a courtyard and we have to go up some stairs to get back out of our building. So cliched, right? A construction worker.
The second one happened just before I got to the train station. A guy walking toward me stepped laterally to get in my way and murmur something in my face. It was general and bizarre but non-threatening.
The last, however, really stuck out to me. I was coming out of the train by the Flatiron building in a steady stream of people trying to get to work. There's a guy of non-asian ethnicity handing out Metro newspapers. He's saying general pleasantries to everyone, but makes a significant point to single me out. So he stopped, looked me up and down and said, "Hey. Ni haooooo...." (which means, "Hey. How are you?" or, with the proper inflection "How YOU doin'....?") It was so quick, like an immediate reaction on his part. 'Yes... this is how I talk to asian girls... all of them.' It wasn't threatening of a comment either, but part of me wanted to turn around and hurl, "I'm KOREAN!!!" (which is not true, but COULD be true!) But alas, I was still not yet fully awake and couldn't care enough at 9 in the morning.
It did have me thinking for the rest of the day. Is this flattering or endearing when non-asian guys try to learn some chinese to pick up [hopefully] chinese girls? Or is it just odd and maybe a little offensive? There's nothing that pisses me off more than people assuming I don't speak English perfectly. Do they just find it to be an easy conversation starter? Is this something that can be changed, if all smags decided to ignore such advances? Is this even something smags everywhere would want?
Food for smag-thought.
Friday, March 30, 2012
Diversity and Disney princesses...
Warning: this post has no real hypothesis or thread of reasoning. It's just the musings of a confused smag...
This past week I (Smag-Lydia) got to spend some time with my second-cousins. (I'm actually not sure what they are, but I'm going to call them second cousins. They're my mom's cousins' kids - so if you know, please tell me.) These six kids are all adorable and range from 3-14 years old.
We ended up playing a Jeopardy-style game with the buzz-in system "Eggspert", which was surprisingly fun. To level the playing field for the range of kids present, I asked questions such as "What is 1 + 1?" and "What color is Tyler's shirt?" Naturally, my hosting duties were quickly usurped by a hilariously self-centered 12-yr old cousin. After posing questions like, "What outfit do I look best in? This is multiple choice: (a) a panda suit (b) a crocodile suit (c) a gorilla suit, or (d) a fedora and sunglasses?" it quickly morphed into a full blown Disney princess quiz show. Here are my thoughts on the questions asked, and the answers given. These below are all apparently true and objectively undeniable facts, or so I was told.
1. "Who was the best Disney Princess?" - correct answer: Mulan.
My thoughts - Nevermind that she's not technically even one of the Disney princesses... Was she the "best" because all of the cousins present were at least half-chinese? What makes a princess better than the others? What are qualities a princess should have? Are sword play and archery are included? Must you have an awesome sidekick? I would love to poll other kids and figure out the statistics there. I bet Disney Inc. already has this information.
2. "Who was my favorite Disney Princess?" - correct answer: Rapunzel (from Tangled)
This doesn't surprise me much. Tangled was the most recent movie, so they probably feel a sort of ownership over this film as I did with The Lion King or Beauty and the Beast. But man, it doesn't take much to win the heart of a 6 year old, or a 5 year old... or a 12 year old. I will add that these girls gave a surprising set of answers to this question in the end. It was agreed that the favorite princesses went in this order: (1) Rapunzel (2) Mulan and (3) Tiana (from Princess and the frog). Diverse, right?
3. "What was the best movie, ever?" - correct answer: Tangled
Hey, I guessed "The Shawshank Redemption" but that answer was met with a bunch of blank stares. Except my brother who thought it was mildly funny. I just really wanted to beat everyone to their buzzers and answer first. I guess I should have guessed better, given question #2. More importantly, all the other little cousins got this right - as if it was the most obvious truism in the world. This didn't have to be limited to Classic Disney animated films. How were they all on the same page? Freaky. Maybe if I proposed Justin Bieber's concert movie, I could have changed some minds.
4."Which Disney princess is the ugliest?" - correct answer: Cinderella
Again, I buzzed in first and guessed Snow White, on the basis that the animation is really old, and her face looks kind of funny to me (mostly because of the dated animation style). Also, I figured her "princess dress" was the least attractive of them all. I was, however, brutally rebuffed. The word Cinderella was met with a chorus of "yuck!" and "you're right!" - much to the confusion of the older cousins. Hadn't Cinderella been kind of the benchmark for all other Disney Princesses for us? "But Cinderella was really nice, and hardworking...!" I proffered. Right... because that's DEFINITELY what it takes to be the least ugly princess.
I'm still not sure how to feel after that game. On one hand, I was proud of those girls for having a list of best/favorite princesses that included some with spunk and/or some sort of true goal in life. It also included an impressively diverse set of ladies. But there weren't any good reasons for why they liked each princess. I know I shouldn't expect, "I like Tiana, because she knows that hard work is a much better path than wishing on a star [like that idiot Jiminy Cricket tells us to]." But even a simple "I like Mulan because she's brave" would have been nice. I still think they might just think they were prettiest. (Also, why is Cinderella the ugliest? I'm still trying to figure out their reasoning for that one)
But perhaps kids only really love what's newest and most relevant to them. In that case, it really is Disney's burden to provide empowering Disney princesses, provide good role-models. But most likely, I'm over-thinking this. Are there truly any good ways to teach young girls that life's not just about being pretty and becoming a trophy wife?
This past week I (Smag-Lydia) got to spend some time with my second-cousins. (I'm actually not sure what they are, but I'm going to call them second cousins. They're my mom's cousins' kids - so if you know, please tell me.) These six kids are all adorable and range from 3-14 years old.
We ended up playing a Jeopardy-style game with the buzz-in system "Eggspert", which was surprisingly fun. To level the playing field for the range of kids present, I asked questions such as "What is 1 + 1?" and "What color is Tyler's shirt?" Naturally, my hosting duties were quickly usurped by a hilariously self-centered 12-yr old cousin. After posing questions like, "What outfit do I look best in? This is multiple choice: (a) a panda suit (b) a crocodile suit (c) a gorilla suit, or (d) a fedora and sunglasses?" it quickly morphed into a full blown Disney princess quiz show. Here are my thoughts on the questions asked, and the answers given. These below are all apparently true and objectively undeniable facts, or so I was told.
1. "Who was the best Disney Princess?" - correct answer: Mulan.
My thoughts - Nevermind that she's not technically even one of the Disney princesses... Was she the "best" because all of the cousins present were at least half-chinese? What makes a princess better than the others? What are qualities a princess should have? Are sword play and archery are included? Must you have an awesome sidekick? I would love to poll other kids and figure out the statistics there. I bet Disney Inc. already has this information.
2. "Who was my favorite Disney Princess?" - correct answer: Rapunzel (from Tangled)
This doesn't surprise me much. Tangled was the most recent movie, so they probably feel a sort of ownership over this film as I did with The Lion King or Beauty and the Beast. But man, it doesn't take much to win the heart of a 6 year old, or a 5 year old... or a 12 year old. I will add that these girls gave a surprising set of answers to this question in the end. It was agreed that the favorite princesses went in this order: (1) Rapunzel (2) Mulan and (3) Tiana (from Princess and the frog). Diverse, right?
3. "What was the best movie, ever?" - correct answer: Tangled
Hey, I guessed "The Shawshank Redemption" but that answer was met with a bunch of blank stares. Except my brother who thought it was mildly funny. I just really wanted to beat everyone to their buzzers and answer first. I guess I should have guessed better, given question #2. More importantly, all the other little cousins got this right - as if it was the most obvious truism in the world. This didn't have to be limited to Classic Disney animated films. How were they all on the same page? Freaky. Maybe if I proposed Justin Bieber's concert movie, I could have changed some minds.
4."Which Disney princess is the ugliest?" - correct answer: Cinderella
Again, I buzzed in first and guessed Snow White, on the basis that the animation is really old, and her face looks kind of funny to me (mostly because of the dated animation style). Also, I figured her "princess dress" was the least attractive of them all. I was, however, brutally rebuffed. The word Cinderella was met with a chorus of "yuck!" and "you're right!" - much to the confusion of the older cousins. Hadn't Cinderella been kind of the benchmark for all other Disney Princesses for us? "But Cinderella was really nice, and hardworking...!" I proffered. Right... because that's DEFINITELY what it takes to be the least ugly princess.
I'm still not sure how to feel after that game. On one hand, I was proud of those girls for having a list of best/favorite princesses that included some with spunk and/or some sort of true goal in life. It also included an impressively diverse set of ladies. But there weren't any good reasons for why they liked each princess. I know I shouldn't expect, "I like Tiana, because she knows that hard work is a much better path than wishing on a star [like that idiot Jiminy Cricket tells us to]." But even a simple "I like Mulan because she's brave" would have been nice. I still think they might just think they were prettiest. (Also, why is Cinderella the ugliest? I'm still trying to figure out their reasoning for that one)
But perhaps kids only really love what's newest and most relevant to them. In that case, it really is Disney's burden to provide empowering Disney princesses, provide good role-models. But most likely, I'm over-thinking this. Are there truly any good ways to teach young girls that life's not just about being pretty and becoming a trophy wife?
Thursday, February 23, 2012
Smags in Yankee Stadium!
Yes, Spring Training is upon us... and perhaps the Yankees will distract NYers from all this Linsanity (How come we haven't had a Jeremy Lin post yet? Don't worry, it'll happen eventually). I can not wait for the 2012 season to start.
I'm glad my "sports t-shirt curse" has not yet spread to my remaining Yankees... But more importantly, I recently bought Smag-Alex a cute little 9-pack of Yankee tickets for her birthday to match mine. So finally, after many years of inaction, we are finally "Season Ticket Holders" (technically)!!! Will April 19 get here already? (That's our first game, vs. a hopefully healthy Joe Mauer and the Twins)
But what we really need to know is, with A.J. gone, who's going to be in charge of pies?!?
I'm glad my "sports t-shirt curse" has not yet spread to my remaining Yankees... But more importantly, I recently bought Smag-Alex a cute little 9-pack of Yankee tickets for her birthday to match mine. So finally, after many years of inaction, we are finally "Season Ticket Holders" (technically)!!! Will April 19 get here already? (That's our first game, vs. a hopefully healthy Joe Mauer and the Twins)
But what we really need to know is, with A.J. gone, who's going to be in charge of pies?!?
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