And we're back! .... Mistaken smagdenity

Yeah... so, we smags kind of forgot about this blog... oops.  ~ Smag-Lyd

Many changes since we last posted (a bajillion years ago). Smag-Joyce ran a marathon, Smag-Lyd got a new job within the same company, Smag-Alex found a nice boy and is now reppin' BK.  Our smag-den has also grown to include Smag-Van! It's important to acknowledge her since she's part of the inspiration for this post.

Yesterday, Smag-Van and I went to a cheap sushi place in Astoria near our apt.  When Smag-Van came back from the bathroom, she was trying really hard not to bust out laughing.  "I think that guy over there thought that I work here..." A random white guy intercepted her on the way to our table and started to ask her a question. Oh the woes of being a smag, dressed in black, eating at an asian restaurant. Non-smags don't know what to do.

At least Smag-Van was confused for a waitress at a decent restaurant.  My best case of mistaken smagdenity happened upstate (yeah, so it's not the city but whatever) at a crappo chinese buffet in Ulster County (pretty g...).  I was walking back to my family's table with a plate full of crappy chinese food and probably a random dollop of mashed potatoes, when a middle-aged white guy stops me and asks me "Excuse me, ma'am, can I get a fork?"

I was so flustered because I didn't get that he thought I worked there for a solid 10 seconds of awkward dead time. I mean, I was holding a plate of food and probably picking at it, and wearing jeans and some slobby t-shirt (probably) - not the fugly vests over short sleeve button-downs... But I finally replied, "ohhh, I don't work here.  But, like, there's a whole bin of them right over there." We were at a buffet.  They're over there by the plates, old man.

I wonder if those people ever feel embarrassed. Smags-out.

Chinese takeout

This pretty much blew my mind.  Just like the expandable ketchup cups.

Of course, if you can't eat 2 pounds of roast pork lo mein, you might want to save that carton.  Smag out.

Things Smags+ Hate...

because I'm pretty sure I've heard every single one of these questions/comments.  I think this video is entitled "PLEASE SAYING THIS STUFF TO ASIANS!"

 

I have a pretty big chip on my shoulder about getting the question "Do you speak English?" and I've often wondered why.  Perhaps it's because I can't really speak Chinese that well, and if I didn't speak English as well as I do, WHAT WOULD I HAVE?  I'd like to think people can see the neon signs above my head that scream "well-educated!" "perfect english" "Doesn't need a greencard!" but alas, this is not my reality. 

At some point, the number of generations that asian-american families have been in America will be large enough that the clueless subset of Americans will change their expectations.  But I'm sure there will always be the creepo's that ask if we need greencards, while standing outside an unmarked van - waiting to whisk us away into the sex slave industry.  (for story, see earlier post)